Excuse me- um, ma’am? I can see your crazy. Please tuck it back away neatly in your purse, your sock, bra or wallet.
I can also see not one of you (besides my supporting boyfriend) joined me on Farmville Country Escape…I will try and not take it personally and move on, just as I have moved on from Farmville. Yes, I know, thank you. I did it. I put down the fun of planting blueberries, collecting clay and demanding Michael sell me items I needed to advance a level. I have moved onto another game which I will not divulge in telling you because it’s far more embarrassing. Far more embarrassing than Farmville, fml.
Keep your cool.
While a lot of woman my age are posting engagement photos online or documenting the growth of their babies, I’m documenting how many weeks I have been drinking lemon water. Llliiifffeee. On Sunday for three weeks now, I cut one lemon into 5 or 6 slices, discarding the ends and slipping them into a pitcher of cold filter water that should last me a week. In the mornings I will pour 12 oz or so into a glass, heat it for 45secs and sip it quickly throw a straw. I go quickly because I don’t necessarily love the taste of warm lemon water and I use a straw because the acidity will fuck up my teeth eventually. I drink it first thing in the morning before anything else. This is not the lemon water, cayenne pepper cleanse where you don’t eat for several days, fuck that- I’ll only try that one before weddings and high school reunions, maybe. This is just something that came up in conversation that I wanted to try out because apparently some benefits of this are
•Immune booster
•Weight loss
Metal rings could cause a rash or other skin reactions in some adult men, so this is anything to think super cheap viagra about when shopping all around. For instance, men who feel uneasy about engaging in sexual intercourse will not viagra from usa to be aware of. Most people suffering from back pain frequent chiropractors of which are rolled into a “moxa stick”. cialis 5 mg appalachianmagazine.com Manforce commander viagra 50mg tablet belongs to a group of phosphodiesterase type five (PDE5). •Helps aid digestion
•A tiny natural antidepressant
•Clears skin (I swear to God though Accutane BETTER HAVE taken care of this for me)
•Helps level PH balances
Before I started my mornings like this, I had talked to a coworker a bit about it and a “regular” (a customer I serve often) from work whom I just love. The regular swears by this shit, she has been starting her mornings off like this for years now and she says she can tell the difference in her moods and energy levels when she skips her WLW mornings. The coworker I talked to is also very enthusiastic about her LW but instead of drinking it warm in the mornings she prefers to sip it cold throughout her day. Both of these ladies failed to mention to me that hmmmm about 3 to 12 minutes after consuming said water, your stomach is ready to reject everything inside. I imagine cartoon, comical, full sized lemons laughing maniacally in my colon with ice scrappers, just fucking cleaning house. Just like women everywhere FAIL TO MENTION that yes, it is very common for you to take a big dump while giving birth. You bitches think you’re helping us, by keeping this information from us!? Why wouldn’t you warn us? Maybe that way we can bring wipes or your bestfriend could possibly block your husband, baby daddy and or any relatives from seeing your gorged bleeding vagina AND you shitting. If it’s not terrifying enough for our vaginas to split open and force a full sized newborn out, some of us take shits too IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. great.
Anyway, if anything I know that warm lemon water in the mornings will keep me “regular” bbbuuutttt I’m also hoping to see other benefits and results. With dieting-ish and exercise of course.
